Monday, December 9, 2013

Thanksgiving: Uncomfortable

A little late, but a note about Thanksgiving.

It was strange.

I was spending it with my sister, but Mini wanted to make a showing at my ex-father-in-law's (EFIL) yearly extravaganza. The drop-off was normal as we'd actually had brunch with them a few weeks ago. "You're not getting rid of us that easy," as he'd said then. So we caught up for a few minutes and I headed out until the Mini pickup.

And then I picked her up. So much family. And what struck me was the "oh, we haven't seen you in so long" and "we miss seeing you around." It struck me because I suddenly realized no one knew MS and I had split, that I'd been moved out for five months. And they just thought I had decided to be absent.

It was conflicting because I just wanted to shout out the truth, but apparently that hadn't been part of any reveal. It was strange because I was showing up and saying hi and giving hugs and MS wasn't even going to make an appearance because she was out of town with her new boyfriend.

And it was comforting in a way - with EFIL and his wife and my ex-sister-in-law all telling me they want to hang out. Because I will. Because family is not about a word, but a relationship, and even if the legal definitions of that relationship change, I still love hanging out with them and still consider them all family.

And it was sad. Sad that I was there to say hi when MS hadn't but let her sister let her dad know she wouldn't be there, that the blood's ex is in good graces while MS has a great deal of working to do to repair her familial relationships. Unfortunately, her eyes for Dude are tainting everything, including her relationship with our daughter.

But that's a post for another day.

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