Friday, December 20, 2013

I Kissed a Girl - and I Liked It

So I'm apparently moving on. In a good way.

Last weekend, I had chance to spend some time with a woman I've been friends with for several years. Since I moved out, we've started more openly flirting by unnecessarily meeting for coffee about our common group, chatting online, and texting. Nothing crazy, very light.

And then last weekend, we were at a convention together. I walked her to her room at the end of the night as I had a few things I was in charge of and had to attend to and It. Was. Just. There. And I kissed her. And she kissed back. And it was wonderful.

Butterflies are a little new. Again. But they never lose their power.

I'll just leave it there. There's more to come, but slowly for now. Never want to jump too fast.

Thursday, December 19, 2013

The Mother/Daughter Psych Session 1

I'm doing okay, getting things back to the "new normal," keeping my apartment clean, paying my bills...

But MS and Mini are not okay.

On Mini's request, I came in to a sit-down with them and while I was asked to be there in group, it ended up as me as a facilitator to listen to them speak to one another and validate and be a decent.

I'd say it went well, except it didn't. Mini is angry about MS having Dude over all the time, voiced her disapproval at his presence and occasional commentary which - intentional or not - makes her feel like he's trying to be a parent. MS voiced her frustration at Mini's negative attitude and constant combativeness. Mini stated her direct expectations on when Dude should be there. And...crickets.

They've got some work to do, and I really hope I can be a part of it, even as a third-party facilitator. After watching MS's relationship with own mother deteriorate into nothingness before she passed, the only thing I can hope for is that MS and Mini can reconcile their differences.

And with both their natures being so adversarial, "hope" is the operative word.

I guess I'm just lucky to be a part of it right now. I'm a man. I want to fix. But I'm also intelligent in that I know that I can't really fix, but perhaps by listening and guiding I might be able to help.

I so hope I can help. I can't watch another mother/daughter relationship disappear in front of my eyes.

Monday, December 9, 2013

Thanksgiving: Uncomfortable

A little late, but a note about Thanksgiving.

It was strange.

I was spending it with my sister, but Mini wanted to make a showing at my ex-father-in-law's (EFIL) yearly extravaganza. The drop-off was normal as we'd actually had brunch with them a few weeks ago. "You're not getting rid of us that easy," as he'd said then. So we caught up for a few minutes and I headed out until the Mini pickup.

And then I picked her up. So much family. And what struck me was the "oh, we haven't seen you in so long" and "we miss seeing you around." It struck me because I suddenly realized no one knew MS and I had split, that I'd been moved out for five months. And they just thought I had decided to be absent.

It was conflicting because I just wanted to shout out the truth, but apparently that hadn't been part of any reveal. It was strange because I was showing up and saying hi and giving hugs and MS wasn't even going to make an appearance because she was out of town with her new boyfriend.

And it was comforting in a way - with EFIL and his wife and my ex-sister-in-law all telling me they want to hang out. Because I will. Because family is not about a word, but a relationship, and even if the legal definitions of that relationship change, I still love hanging out with them and still consider them all family.

And it was sad. Sad that I was there to say hi when MS hadn't but let her sister let her dad know she wouldn't be there, that the blood's ex is in good graces while MS has a great deal of working to do to repair her familial relationships. Unfortunately, her eyes for Dude are tainting everything, including her relationship with our daughter.

But that's a post for another day.