Wednesday, July 30, 2014

And the Girl I Kissed...

And the girl I kissed. Let's call her MH.

It's been amazing. We've been together for almost six months now. And I'm loving every minute.

We're spending exceptional time together and I've quickly fallen in love. Again.

My only worry is that I'm falling again too quickly; not that it's too quickly for the relationship, but that it's too quickly for me. I just spent my last 14 years with a woman I'll no longer be married to next month. I have powerful feelings for MH and nothing will change that. I'm battling with wonderful time with her and figuring out what time I need to remember to love myself.

I'd say I'm well on the way to loving myself. If I had a meter I'd be at about 60% (was down near 20% when I started this blog).

I just want to be happy and to make others happy. It's easier to make her happy than me, so I focus on that, which makes me happy, but not in the way I need.

So...working on it.

I promise more updates. But for now, know, overall, I'm pretty damn happy. :)

Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Filed and Waiting...

So I filed.

After a while of waiting for our lawyer friend to get us the paperwork and me finally saying "let's just turn it in," I took what we had to my lawyer buddy who quickly made one suggestion and I set out to file on July 11th.

I thought it was providence. July 11th was 14 years to the day that I met MS. I went in there with my $275 and all my documents photocopied 4x for submission, a file folder an inch thick.

And they said "sorry."

"Everything here looks good, but I seem to be missing a petition."

"What? We went through everything you guys had online and two friends familiar with the system and didn't see "petition" mentioned."

"Sorry. You'll have to both sign this and add it to the bundle and we can process you then."


So I met with MS for a quick signing. We were both frustrated on that missing bit. I returned on 7/14 (Bastille Day!) and they took the paperwork, which is a weird, uneasy feeling of "do you know what you're doing with all that?" and a back and forth to three different desks - and then the final scheduling. We dissolve near the end of August. I'll post here when it's done.

I felt so broken on the 11th, and then when it was done on the 14th, felt so empty of the joy I was expecting. No happy dance that day. Maybe in a few weeks?