That Girl I Kissed

So I kissed that girl and it was awesome.

Since then, we've been taking things slowly, not wanting to trump anything by over-eagerness. I've known her for over five years and just now we're getting to know each other in a completely new way. In a scary new way. We're already joining on so many levels it kind of frightens me: joy of cooking, patience of slow affection, little quirks and peeves we share...

Just...it's good. It's SO good right now.

I'm making her a mix tape. Well, CD.

Yeah, I'm already that deep. And I'm loving every moment of it.

I Kissed a Girl - and I Liked It

So I'm apparently moving on. In a good way.

Last weekend, I had chance to spend some time with a woman I've been friends with for several years. Since I moved out, we've started more openly flirting by unnecessarily meeting for coffee about our common group, chatting online, and texting. Nothing crazy, very light.

And then last weekend, we were at a convention together. I walked her to her room at the end of the night as I had a few things I was in charge of and had to attend to and It. Was. Just. There. And I kissed her. And she kissed back. And it was wonderful.



Butterflies are a little new. Again. But they never lose their power.

I'll just leave it there. There's more to come, but slowly for now. Never want to jump too fast.

I Was Back in the House This Weekend

Got to babysit the dog (and Mini) in the ol' house this past weekend while MS was out of town. So strange. Scribbled this down:

No less than three vases of flowers from Dude to MS litter the living and dining room areas. A list in his handwriting hangs on the fridge of things that need to be done to fix up the house. Bicycling and fitness magazines have replaced Scientific American and Game Informer in the basket on top of the toilet tank.

But I'm here for Mini. I'm here for the dog. MS is out of town, Dog doesn't like my place (she begins howling in a trip to take out the garbage), and we don't trust Mini in an empty house (there was a boob hickey incident trigger for that). So I'm here, in this home that was once mine, in a home that now feels like I'm visiting my parents. At least that's how I make it make sense to my brain.

Almost everything is familiar, but so, so distant. Empty areas abound. Dude's stuff punctuates certain places, like the toothbrush holder. The library is still empty of my desk and presence, but there is his bike. I open the fridge to a mysterious stock.

I wander in a foreign land, a place once my own home, never again.

Homecoming Was Weird

I was planning on a weekend at a music fest, but Mini's Homecoming Dance was in full effect.

To clarify: I didn't think she should have gone. Mini hadn't completed one of her online class assignments. This wasn't an arbitrary thing or a missing of an assignment or two; she was two weeks behind in online lessons. I told MS Mini shouldn't go (she's been warned). And MS said she could go anyway.

So conflict enough, I told her I'd come over to see her before heading to the music festival. And when I got there, to the house we lived in together, Dude was there. No warning; I guess I should've expected it. And when I got there, Mini was getting her hair set. And there was Dude. And MS said she was going to do Mini's hair in the bathroom.

There I was: my daughter getting her hair done in the bathroom, Dude hanging out, and Mini at least 45 minutes from getting in her dress. Staying would mean making smalltalk with Dude for about 45 minutes. And as Mini was walking to the bathroom, I was bordering on a panic attack. So I hugged her, told her I loved her, and left for the show. I didn't give a shit about the show in position to seeing her in her dress, but it meant small-talking with her boyfirned.

Right or wrong, I left.

I could not deal. I was edging into a panic attack and retreated. Just before the hair fixing, MS asked if I wanted a glass of wine as Dude was uncorking and I just said "Well, I guess if I'm not going to see my girl in her dress tonight, I'm headed out," and I hugged Mini and told her I loved her and went on my way.

It wasn't a huge deal to her (she said), but it was to me. I wanted to see her in all regalia. But Dude freaked me out. And maybe he shouldn't have. But he did. And I left.

It's all good; Mini understands why I left (she's not a fan of his constant presence). But I still feel terrible about it. And I can't make that up to her.

Some days are bad. Homecoming was one of those days.

Auto Accident? For Serious?

Today, I was in an accident.


Sorry, baby, but I had to crash that Honda.

I'm fine. Wasn't my fault. Shaken, and will be sore the next few days.

My full insurance will cover my car seeing that the young man who pulled the louie in front of me explained to the officer that he was in from Mexico three weeks ago and had no insurance, identification, or green card.

But per the theme of this blog, I am so wonderfully grateful that when all was done and I got home, I could call MS and chat with her and give me a semblance of solace that can only come from a good friend.

I've a bit of a black cloud running, but all will be well. And if I didn't have that outlet with MS tonight, her understanding and compassion and ability to joke with me, my sanity would be gone.

It's different, and it's sad, but it's certainly not all bad as it rolls out.

It Was a Good Week

During this process of splitting and finding my own way, I've realized that I'm either all in or all out. This last couple days have been rough days for me, and before I spill the good stuff starting tomorrow, I'd like to blow out some success.

Last week, I finally got my car back. As I've discussed before, that was a huge missing piece for me. In the trunk of that car were the last five boxes of books. I picked up a book case last week and this past weekend, by books were distributed between that case and my desk and the boxes were broken down and I feel ...more complete.

Here's my joy:



Tomorrow starts the hard tellings...

Car Trouble: Finding Normal Roadblock

On June 23rd, my Honda (the one I bought two months ago) shitted out on me. Turns out it was the timing chain going, stretching as it were. $1100 or so.

On June 24th, I had it towed to my usual shop. They got right on it and said - oops - looks like the timing chain and a little deeper into the engine than they go, let's tow it to this second place. On the 25th, it was towed to New Place. This was 4 days before I moved residences; I rolled a rental during the shift.

Friday was July 20th. They have had my car for 20+ business days. I love that they gave me a loaner for free, even if it is a dirty Odyssey, but DAMN! Every conversation has been initiated by me and just to see if it would happen, I didn't call and officially have not heard from anyone all week. Good people, good rep, good work, but slow as shit with crap for communication skills. I can't in good conscience recommend them to anyone else.

And there's the hard part as it relates to the relationship and moving.

Shitty business practices aside, I just want my car back. I want to live in my new place with my own car, not walking out every day to a Honda van. That's not mine. That's not me.

Can't wait to get it back. It's not me, but it is a representation of my life. Hoping this will be a good week.